Communication is very important and you need to pay attention to how to listen to your child so they feel encouraged to communicate with you.
Just become more aware and start to notice the interaction between the parents and their children. Start listening and you will hear things like:”Don’t do that. Don’t touch that. Don’t go there. Stop that! No, you will hurt yourself. Get back here. I told you not to do that. I told you it can’t be done. It is impossible. Who do you think you are.” Is this how we take care of our children? How we try to protect them? By being negative and by shouting?
- I told you to stop asking for things that I can’t give you?
- What is wrong with you, stupid girl?
Nobody is allowed to talk to a child like this. Many parents do act like this and when their kids grow old and start acting disrespectful toward them, they can’t understand what they’ve done wrong.
The way you treat your children now is how they will treat you later on in life.
They might not do it because they hate you but because it is the only way they know how. That is exactly what you taught them.
How to listen to your child
There are also parents who know exactly how to communicate, how to listen and share, and they do this in a miraculous way. When a child falls, check to see if they are hurt and if not, reassure them in a calm voice and let them get on with what they were doing. Instead, this is usually associated with the mother rushing toward her child and see if the child is hurt or not while the child starts crying. It’s the parents that really get the children to cry? When a child sees all the attention and the worry it gives them a sense of what they should, subconsciously or consciously be expecting. It’s that simple.
Children love to ask all kind of questions. Figure out how to listen to your child and take the time to answer them, take the time to explain. Take time to find the answers together.
Research has it that listening to your child makes it more likely that they listen to you, When a child feels listened, he is more likely to listen, and having been understood, he will understand your point of view as well. It helps parents and children form stronger bonds and relationships, and builds their self-esteem.
Make time for reading. Read together. Let them see the value of books. Tell them inspiring stories, tell them the stories of great men who fought for their dreams, for what they believed in and how they eventually got there. Plant the seeds of greatness in their minds. They will be inspired and they too will strive for greatness. Make time for them to read to you every day, and listen.
- Ask your children what they want or need from you in a conversation, such as advice, simply listening, help in dealing with feelings or solving a problem.
- Kids learn by imitating. They will follow your lead in how they deal with anger, solve problems and work through difficult feelings.
- Talk to your children — don’t lecture, criticize, threaten or say hurtful things.
- Kids learn from their own choices. As long as the consequences are not dangerous, don’t feel you have to step in.
- Realise your children may test you by telling you a small part of what is bothering them. Listen carefully to what they say, encourage them to talk and they may share the rest of the story. Communicate, listen and share.
Find out more on how to listen to your child.
This article on stages of play for your child may also be useful to you.